Have you ever been offended by someone? Maybe offend with God due to tragedies? Or yourself for making mistakes?
To be offended is to experience hurt, anger, and be upset with a situation when someone is rude, disrespectful, or hurtful in their words or actions.
When we let those feelings get stronger, we may feel like a victim trapped in a loop that just won’t go away.
A straightforward action can break that loop and put you back into a healthy position to process the situation and emerge stronger and more resilient.
What simple action can you take that costs you nothing but a couple of minutes?
Forgiveness!
You might respond with, “They don’t deserve forgiveness. What they did to me was wrong! Someone should pay for that damage and hurt.”
Keep in mind that forgiveness is not the same as forbearance. Forbearance is when we overlook or ignore unpleasant characteristics, events, or relatively minor behavior, even if our emotions perceive it as major.
Forgiveness applies to major offenses, events, or situations that require a healing process. It is the primary way to heal!
However, it does not mean:
- Forgetting what happened or ‘stuffing’ the emotions
- Condoning the behavior, responses, or events
- You must restore the relationship when there is no change in behavior
- There are no consequences
Forgiveness does come at a cost. It comes at the expense of releasing our ‘right’ to be offended.
It also:
- Acknowledges the pain and suffering without letting those emotions define us and keep us trapped in a loop of offense.
- Provides freedom from anger, hurt, and upset.
- Empowers us to release the person and/or situation to God for Him to address.
- Provides peace that passes all understanding.
This has been a process for so many of our clients.
So, how can I forgive?
Years ago, I was taught a simple technique to forgive myself, forgive God for allowing it to happen, and forgive others for their role in the situation. It doesn’t replace prayer. However, it’s a technique that speaks to my mind and heart through my voice and words. It allows my mind to know it’s safe to forgive and move forward.
Some challenging personal situations have allowed me to learn to use this technique repeatedly until I experience that peace. I often follow up with ‘blessing the offender.’ That capacity to bless the person is so much easier after forgiveness is extended, regardless of whether I think they are ‘worth it.’
Check out each of the videos to see how you can best apply this technique to your situation.
Give it a try and see what you experience. We love to hear your feedback!
Amazing presentations!!!
Dear Cheryl, thank you so much for teaching these simple technique of forgiveness. I especially had an issue with forgiving myself regarding bad management of finances in the past. I feel more peace about that now…I would like to know though how this impacts, helps with or creates a new healthy behaviour reg. the (any) topic I used this technique for. I would also like to know how the three different fingers reoresenting forgiveness to me, God and certain people relate physically to the brain. How dies this work in the subconciousness? Greetings and blessings from Berlin, Heike
Creating new behavior is a growth process once unforgiveness is removed.
Unforgiveness is one of the biggest blocks to hearing God’s voice. One of my favorite questions to ask the Lord is
‘Who have you called me to be in this season (goes beyond doing).
Each finger has relevance.
Pointer/First finger (self) is the large intestine circuit of the body, which relates to control issues.
Middle finger (God for allowing) is circulation/blood circuit which has to do with identity given by God.
Little finger (others) is the heart/ relationship circuit.
Hope that is helpful.
These are great questions to submit to our free weekly Zoom Q&A calls. You can get notified by going to our website and clicking on Get Started.
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