One of the most common complaints I hear from clients is, “I feel like I’m just a failure. I don’t know how to get out of that loop.” Feelings of failure can so easily slip into our brains and take over our emotions. I have one simple strategy that I use every time this starts to happen to me! Let me share it with you in this short video. SHORT? Yes, because it’s just that EASY!

The most common cause of the perception of failure comes from comparing yourself to someone else. Nobody else is you, and you aren’t anybody else. Comparisons aren’t useful in learning to become the best you!

I could easily feel like a failure if I compared myself to an Olympic athlete. I was the woman who didn’t start to exercise until I was 50! PE class was my biggest nemesis in high school – it was awful – I wasn’t athletic! And yet, for over 13 years, I’ve been doing 100 push-ups daily as part of a daily exercise routine that is now part of my lifestyle! That’s a win! By focusing on seeing my win, I know I’m being successful at becoming more of who God created me to be.

So, what is this number one tip? STOP COMPARING! When you compare where you’re at with how you see someone else, you’re usually comparing your inside to their outside. You’re comparing your ‘failure’ to what you see as their ‘success’ with no idea of their actual reality. The result? You’ll never feel like you’re enough. This continuously feeds the “I feel like a failure loop.” In today’s world of social media, this is a constant battle to fight. The Solution? I look for people I genuinely admire and let them inspire me to become more of who I am – more of who God uniquely created me to be! The trap of comparisons is so easy to fall into today! Learn to recognize it and replace it as soon as you start to go there.

I have a very dear friend who can talk to anybody, and she has the energy of somebody half her age. She never complains. She never compares. Instead of feeling inadequate to her, I look at her and say, “That means it’s possible! That means I can learn how to do this in my style.”

So, if you’re ready to let go of that cloak of feeling like a failure, which is just a perception and not a reality, stop comparing yourself to others. Let the people you admire inspire you. Begin to see and acknowledge your wins. Remember, wins will look different for all of us because we’re all different – with different strengths, gifts, and weaknesses. Begin learning to see and acknowledge your wins. Keep it easy by looking for the little ones first.

Here’s a simple activity to get you started. At the end of each day, take a few minutes as a family, couple, or with just you and your journal and share or write down your three wins for the day. Do not judge the size; just look for and acknowledge your wins. You’ll be surprised at what this does for your mindset over just a few weeks!

When you do this, failure walks out the door, success enters, and you become more of who God created you to be, and that’s a big win!!